


It Seems it's Written

by lunarsoo



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Teenage Drama, mentions of hyungheon, mentions of showki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 14:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18143144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarsoo/pseuds/lunarsoo
Summary: The concept of soulmates has never appealed to Changkyun. As much as he tries to believe there really is someone out there destined to be with him for eternity, it’s hard to. That is, until one spring afternoon, a boy with Changkyun's initials etched on his wrist enters his life.





	It Seems it's Written

**Author's Note:**

> It had been a while since I wrote any Wonkyun, but I guess it was time!  
> I had dropped this prompt, then a couple of weeks ago picked it up again in a burst of inspiration. Soulmate AU has always been something I loved and wanted to write, so I'm happy this fic happened. Also, major thanks to my girl Bee for being the mvp and beta-reading this in record time for me. I love you so much.
> 
> Just a few quick notes about the work:  
> \- This takes place at an alternate universe where some people, but not everyone, are born with their soulmate's initials engraved on the inner side of their wrist. That is called a soulmate mark. Pretty simple concept I know lol  
> \- Changkyun, Hoseok and Hyungwon are all 17 in this fic, in their senior year of high school. Kihyun and Minhyuk are 18 and in their first year of college.  
> \- I went with typical American high school setting for this, but this is an alternate universe so it doesn't really take place anywhere in the real world.  
> \- The rating in this is because of some occasional swearing (what can I say, teenagers have filthy mouths).  
> \- I made a playlist to go with the fic. It has songs that are featured in the fic, as well as other songs that inspired me while I was writing this. You can listen to it [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/lvq639e5uq9fbwsklises63kd/playlist/1IShIHWCFxqKKZp7F9whS5?si=f9ZlBYsESeOI1h0o49X6xQ)  
> .
> 
> I think this is it. I was going to tag this as slow-burn, but I feel like it's not long enough to be considered slow-burn, even though Wonkyun don't get together until the very end.
> 
> Anyway, I've already said too much.  
> Hope you enjoy the fic!

The concept of soulmates has never appealed to Changkyun. As much as he tries to believe there really is someone out there destined to be with him for eternity, it’s hard to. Especially since he has been stuck in the same little town, where absolutely nothing happens since he was born, working the same boring cashier job at his uncle’s convenience store and struggling to graduate from high school with decent enough grades to get into college.

 

The future seems bleak, even with the prospect of leaving town next year. Changkyun knows that even if he manages to get into a good college, his parents won’t let him stray too far from home. So, for him, the pale pink marks on his left wrist resembling initials  — or so people tell him, even if he fails to see it  — , don’t mean anything to him. His parents got married and are still together to this day, and none of them have a ‘soulmate mark’ as people call them. 

 

Changkyun calls it bullshit.

 

That’s why, on an usually warm spring afternoon, while he’s distractedly checking his phone looking for new music he can add to his road trip playlist  — he’s finally convinced his parents to let him go with his small group of his friends after years and years of begging  — , Changkyun barely looks up when a boy comes by the store Changkyun works at.

 

The boy is wearing a band t-shirt, Changkyun faintly registers, as he scans the products that were placed on the counter. When he’s done, he looks up at the boy’s face since his uncle insists it’s the polite thing to do, and asks him if “that would be all”, trying not to sound bored out of his mind. 

 

But as soon as his eyes land on the person in front of him he can’t help but pay a little more attention. First of all, the guy has red hair  — the color is a bit washed out, but still a pretty shade, Changkyun thinks  — , and a lip piercing, which already makes him pretty damn eye-catching in Changkyun’s opinion since he’s never seen anyone with a lip piercing from up-close before. All of his friends were complete nerds and even if he wanted to get one, his parents would never let him. 

 

“Yep. You don’t have my favorite soda flavor but I think the shop a few blocks from here does, so I’ll just walk there to buy it,” the boy says and Changkyun simply nods. He doesn’t really know how to make small talk, so he finds it better to just stick to the usual pleasantries.

 

“That will be $9.99, sir,” Changkyun says.

 

The other boy huffs out a laugh and mumbles something about not being that old to be called  _ sir _ , but Changkyun just really wants to go home and he is clocking out in less than ten minutes so he doesn’t bother to answer.

 

After he pays, the guy waves him goodbye in what would be considered a friendly way and Changkyun catches himself waving back before he even realizes what he’s doing.

 

It’s not long after he’s alone again, preparing to leave for the day, that he realizes he’s never seen that boy around before. He certainly doesn’t go to the same school as him. Changkyun figures he must be just passing through town, because now that he thinks about it, the boy didn’t look like he belonged in this shithole. He looked almost  _ too  _ cool to be here.

 

Bitterly, Changkyun wishes he was just passing through as well. That wherever that guy was headed to, he were as well. But tough luck, Changkyun is still stuck in the same place. No use for wishful thinking when he has to get home to the piles of homework he’s been purposely neglecting for a week.

 

At least he has that road trip to look forward to though, he thinks as he slings his backpack over his shoulder and heads out of the store to where his bike is parked at the back. One small consolation in this dull little life of his. 

 

Changkyun will take what he can get.

  
  


•·················•·················•

  
  


Changkyun was wrong.

 

The red-haired boy from the grocery store wasn’t just passing through is what he learns when he arrives at school on Monday morning and the teacher introduces the new student. 

Changkyun notices with little to no surprise, some of the female students perking up at the sight of the newcomer and he holds back an eye-roll.

 

Hyungwon kicks his shin under the desk, catching Changkyun’s attention. He looks at his friend who, then, points at his own lower lip before sending a pointed look to the boy who’s standing awkwardly in front of the class, waiting for the teacher to assign him a seat.

 

“So?” Changkyun whispers, shrugging. Hyungwon stares at him like he’s grown two heads. 

 

“Hoseok, you can take the seat next to Changkyun there,” the teacher says and Changkyun suddenly startles upon hearing his name.

 

He also completely missed the guy’s introduction, but he caught the Hoseok part, so that’s fine. It’s not like he needs to know the boy’s last name, anyway.

 

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Hoseok asks in a low voice as soon as his eyes land on Changkyun. Then he’s sitting at his desk, placing his backpack on the floor next to his feet.

 

“Er… I don’t know... Maybe?” Changkyun purposely avoids the other boy’s stare, opting for staring ahead at the blackboard the teacher is currently writing today’s assignment at.

 

The other seems to hesitate, but Changkyun wouldn’t know because he is  _ not _ making eye contact with Hoseok, no. It’s not that he’s embarrassed that he works at his uncle’s store, it’s just that he feels completely lame and unworthy of being talked to. Why is Hoseok even acknowledging him right now? He’s nobody. And Hoseok is clearly someone who’s gonna become one of the popular guys soon. Changkyun just doesn’t want to draw that kind of attention to him.

 

Fortunately, the teacher starts talking before Hoseok can say anything else and Changkyun can exhale the air trapped in his lungs in a relieved sigh. 

 

He plans to get the hell out of there as soon as class ends. 

  
  


 

•·················•·················•

  
  


“Hey, Kyunie, let me see your wrist,” Hyungwon asks during lunch break. They’re sitting behind the bleachers  — their usual lunch spot  — , eating soggy fries dipped in ketchup.

 

“What for?” Changkyun sends his friend an annoyed look.

 

Hyungwon has this obsession with the whole soulmate thing and it’s freaking annoying. Fortunately, neither Kihyun nor Minhyuk share the same fascination as Hyungwon or Changkyun wouldn’t have survived all of these years being their friend. But Minhyuk and Kihyun already graduated and are off to college leading way more interesting lives than them, so they aren’t here to save Changkyun right now.

 

“I just wanna check something,” Hyungwon says, putting on his best innocent face.

 

“Fine!” Changkyun, begrudgingly, stretches out his arm in Hyungwon’s direction, allowing his friend to roll up the sleeve of Changkyun’s worn-out hoodie.

 

“Hmm, interesting,” Hyungwon announces after a moment as he inspects the pink marks on Changkyun’s pale wrist. 

 

“What’s interesting?” Changkyun asks, before popping another fry into his mouth and chewing on it loudly just to annoy the other boy.

 

“Your soulmate mark. It’s more clear now, like, you can see the initials better. Look,” Hyungwon traces the mark with his index finger which kind of tickles causing Changkyun to pull his arm away quickly.

 

“You’re tripping. These things don’t mean anything. It’s nonsense!” Changkyun retorts.

 

“That’s what you think. You know, when your mark becomes more defined and clearer it means that your soulmate is closer to you,” Hyungwon says in a solemn tone that makes Changkyun roll his eyes immediately.

 

“Stop! For once, let me eat my lunch in peace without having to hear about how some stupid birthmarks on my wrist are some kind of omen that I’ll be married and have kids someday.”

 

“That’s not what they indicate! But, argh, I’m not arguing with you about this anymore. I have a feeling you’ll learn soon enough that this is legit.” Hyungwon gets up, dusting off his pants and stomps away without waiting for Changkyun.

 

“Hey, wait for me, asshole!” Changkyun yells after his friend before also getting up and following behind.

 

He really didn’t mean to hurt Hyungwon’s feelings, but he is sick and tired of all this talk about soulmates and destiny. Changkyun doesn’t see how fate has anything extraordinary in store for him when he’s been living the past seventeen years of his life doing the same thing over and over again. Hanging out in the same places, with the same people, looking at the same scenery through his bedroom window.

 

Changkyun rushes through the school corridors trying to catch up with Hyungwon, cursing his friend for having miles of legs. He isn’t exactly running, but he’s walking pretty fast, so it’s no wonder why he bumps against someone’s shoulder hard enough that he stumbles backwards. Luckily, he manages to regain his balance before he falls.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you,” he starts a hurried apology, turning back to look at the person he just bumped into and, to his surprise, a wide-eyed Hoseok is looking at him while rubbing his shoulder.

 

“It’s fine. How about you? You okay?” Hoseok takes a step toward Changkyun as if meaning to check on him but suddenly halts, looking unsure.

 

“Y-yeah, I gotta run. Sorry again, man,” Changkyun mumbles before turning and walking away without glancing back to see Hoseok’s reaction.

  
  


 

•·················•·················•

 

 

  
  


“I officially hate you,” Changkyun tells Hyungwon over the phone, later that same day while lying in his bed, feet dangling from the edge as he stares at the ceiling. 

 

”Why are you so mad I left you alone? I thought you were fed up with my shit.”

 

“I was. I am. But if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have… Eh, whatever, nevermind,” Changkyun sighs deeply. He really doesn’t want Hyungwon to know about him and that Hoseok guy. 

 

Not that there is anything to know in the first place, but he doesn’t want to explain his reasoning behind not wanting anything to do with the other boy when he isn’t even sure of it himself.

 

“You’ve been acting weird. Weirder than usual,” is Hyungwon’s response after a short silence.

 

“That’s… It’s because i’m stressed about homework,” Changkyun lies, even though he knows the other won’t fall for it.

 

”Then go get started on it. I have some of my own to do too. We’ll talk tomorrow, alright?”

 

“Fine. Goodnight,” Changkyun huffs, annoyed.

 

”Night,” Hyungwon says and hangs up. 

 

Changkyun plugs his phone to his wireless speaker, finding his favorite tunes playlist and putting it on shuffle. Daniel Caesar’s Hold Me Down starts playing and Changkyun lets his phone drop on the bed by his head as he closes his eyes with a heavy sigh, letting the music wash over him and help clear his head.

 

He’s about to fall asleep, exhausted from the unusually eventful day he had, when his mom calls him from downstairs. Changkyun ponders if he should answer or pretend to be asleep so she can leave him alone, but guilt takes the best of him. He forces himself to get up from bed, dragging his feet towards his bedroom door and opening it.

 

“Yes, mom?” He yells back.

 

“There’s a boy here to see you. Lee Hoseok? He says he has something to give to you.”

 

Changkyun’s heart skips a beat. Did he hear it correctly? Hoseok is there to see him? 

 

That’s the last thing Changkyun would ever expect to happen. And what could Hoseok possibly have for him that he had to come all the way to Changkyun’s house  — which by the way he’s not even supposed to know the address for  — to give him?

 

“Changkyun, are you coming down or should I tell him to go upstairs?” His mother’s voice sounds impatient, and it serves to snap Changkyun out of his thoughts.

 

“No, I’m coming down, just tell him to wait,” Changkyun replies, before hurriedly going back to his room to check himself in the mirror.

 

His hair looks a total mess, so he runs his hands through it trying to get it to at least stop sticking out weirdly. It’s not very effective but it would have to do. It’s not like Hoseok would even spare him a second look, let alone find him attractive. But still, Changkyun doesn’t want to look a mess when facing the other boy for some mysterious reason.

 

When Changkyun finally makes it downstairs, he spots Hoseok sitting awkwardly on the living room’s large couch while Changkyun’s mom is offering him homemade cookies. Changkyun feels heat creep up his neck from embarrassment, but he doesn’t say anything. It’s not like he can scold his mom for being polite. She probably thinks he is a friend of Changkyun’s, when in fact her son would much rather be thrown in a pit of molten lava than  be standing in the same room as Hoseok right now. Ok, maybe he is being overdramatic, but really, this is the last place he’d like to be right now.

 

“Hey,” Changkyun finally manages to say, but it comes out sounding more like a grunt than anything else. He clears his throat and tries again, this time with a shy wave towards the red-haired boy.

 

“Hi, Changkyun”, Hoseok says with a bright smile that makes Changkyun kind of hate himself for being an asshole to the other boy.

 

“I’ll leave you boys alone,” Changkyun’s mom says, placing the plate full of cookies on the coffee table, then she turns to Hoseok with a wide smile of her own, “You can stay for dinner if you want, Hoseok. It’s not often that I get to see Changkyun’s friends. He is very, hum… Reserved?” 

 

“Hyungwon is here all the time, mom!” Changkyun protests. His mom spares him a quick glance then dismisses him with a wave of her hand.

 

“Hyungwon is your friend since you were both in diapers. I mean your other friends… Kihyun and what was that other boy’s name? Minhyun?”

 

“It’s Minhyuk and they’re both in college now, so that’s why you don’t see them.” Changkyun is starting to grow more and more tense under Hoseok’s gaze, even if the other seems to be more interested in nibbling on the cookie in his hand than in their little banter.

 

“Yes, but they only went off to college this year. What about the year before? I only got to meet them by accident when I went to see you play Peter Pan in the school recital…”

 

“Mom!” Changkyun feels positively mortified now, the only thing keeping him from running upstairs and hiding in his room until he’s eighteen and can move out, is the fact that Hoseok’s giggling and it sounds cute as hell. Changkyun, strangely, wants to hear it again, but preferably not when his mom’s embarrassing comments are what’s prompting the delightful sound.

 

“Alright, alright. I’m really leaving now. It was very nice meeting you, Hoseok. Again, if you want, you can stay for dinner,” his mom says, turning to the other boy.

 

“Thank you, Mrs. Im. My mom is expecting me for dinner, though, so maybe another time,” Hoseok declines politely and as Changkyun’s mom finally starts to leave, he hurriedly gets on his feet and bows to her.

 

Finally alone with Hoseok, Changkyun feels completely out of place in his own home. He doesn’t know if he should sit or stand up, so he just hovers awkwardly by the couch. Hoseok doesn’t sit back down either and they just stand there in silence while Changkyun stares at the old rug his grandmother gave his parents as a wedding gift. There’s a purple-ish stain there from when he and Hyungwon spilled kool-aid on it a few years back and Changkyun snickers at the memory.

 

The sound seems to catch Hoseok’s attention and, soon, the other’s feet enters Changkyun’s line of vision, prompting him to look up at the other boy’s face.

 

“Sorry for showing up like this,” Hoseok says quietly, giving Changkyun an apologetic smile. Ugh, he’s got perfect teeth too.

 

“It’s fine. Mom said you have something for me?” Changkyun asks, unable to contain his curiosity now that he remembers the reason Hoseok is there.

 

“Oh, right,” Hoseok seems to suddenly remember it himself, one of his hands flying to his pocket. Then he dangles a set of familiar keys in front of Changkyun’s face. “You let this drop earlier when you crashed into me.”

 

“Oh? Thanks, man,” Changkyun says, before reaching for the keys. Hoseok lets him take it, then lowers his hand, slipping it into his pocket.

 

“No problem.” 

 

“Again, sorry about that. I was running after my stupid friend and didn’t see you.” Changkyun  finds it hard to avoid looking Hoseok in the eye, because the other is so handsome and his whole presence is oddly magnetic. It’s as if it’s pulling Changkyun in and he can’t stop what’s happening. Maybe it’s the red hair and the lip piercing, he tells himself, but he knows it’s neither of those things. It’s something else, but Changkyun can’t quite pinpoint it and it’s making him unsettled.

 

“I guess I’ll go now. I don’t wanna you bother you and I do have to go back home for dinner,” Hoseok announces, lowering his gaze to the floor, shoulders shrinking. 

 

“Hm… If you really can’t stay that’s fine but… If you’d like, hm, you can stay for dinner.” As soon as the words leave Changkyun’s mouth he regrets it because what the fuck? He didn’t mean to invite Hoseok for dinner out of nowhere. He wants the boy gone. Or does he? 

 

Honestly he isn’t sure anymore. Not with the way Hoseok’s smiling at him right now, luscious lips stretched in a way that makes the little silver hoop on his bottom lip seem just a tiny bit more sinful than usual. Changkyun is in hell right now, he is convinced of it.

 

“Thank you, but I really should go. Maybe we can have lunch together tomorrow?” Hoseok bites his bottom lip and Changkyun feels like his entire body is a torch that’s just been lit on fire.

 

“Sure,” it leaves his mouth before he can help it. 

 

“Then it’s a date,” Hoseok says, with a sudden burst of laughter that should sound dumb to anyone else’s ears but not to Changkyun’s. He’s never been more confused in his entire life. 

 

“Y-yeah, it’s a date,” Changkyun echoes, with a small smile.

 

As soon as Hoseok leaves, Changkyun’s mom calls him for dinner. He spends the whole thirty minutes it takes him to clean his plate thinking about what kind of spell Hoseok’s cast on him that had he suddenly agreeing to the worst idea ever. He swears he didn’t even think about refusing to have lunch with the other boy. His mind automatically went with “yes, sure there’s nothing I’d rather do” and his mouth just did the rest of the job for him. It was like he didn’t have any control over it.

 

Weird. Really weird, Changkyun thinks.

 

Later, when he’s finally alone in his room upstairs, his fingers hover over his phone’s keyboard with the urge to text Hyungwon about what went down, but he doesn’t want to disturb his friend. He knows Hyungwon is probably still hunched over the school books working on his assignment. Changkyun groans and sneaks a guilty look at his own pile of textbooks and notes sitting on his desk, untouched and neglected. 

 

He could start on it tonight. It would be the right thing to do. But he probably wouldn’t get anything done because he can’t stop thinking about earlier and the thousand little details about Hoseok that are etched in his mind. They just keep coming one after the other in an infinite loop: the giggling, the smiles, his full lips forming the word  _ date.  _

 

By the time Changkyun finally falls asleep it’s to those exact thoughts. 

 

There’s no way he could’ve gotten any work done.

  
  


 

•·················•·················•

 

 

 

Changkyun didn’t expect Hoseok to follow through on the spur-of-the-moment lunch plans they made the previous night. He was fully convinced that Hoseok had been messing with him, or had only asked it to be polite or some other obscure reason that totally didn’t involve him actually wanting to have lunch with Changkyun.

 

Boy, was he wrong.

 

Awkward doesn’t even begin to describe how Changkyun feels at the moment, sharing a table with an amused (but confused) Hyungwon and a beaming Hoseok. Changkyun’s been doing nothing but stare at his food while sneaking furtive glances at Hoseok who’s sitting directly in front him, their knees bumping from time to time because the cafeteria tables are very narrow.

 

Hyungwon and Hoseok have been doing most of the talking. Changkyun has been mostly grunting or nodding, because he has no idea what to say and nothing relevant to add to the conversation.

 

But he’s been listening to what they’re saying, more or less. Right now, they’re talking about the latest superhero movie that Changkyun has no idea what it’s about because he’s more of a bookworm and he only goes to the movies when Hyungwon drags him with the promise of free popcorn.

 

“Have you seen it yet, Changkyun?” Hoseok asks in that friendly way of his and even though Changkyun isn’t looking at him he can picture the other’s attentive gaze. 

 

Changkyun shakes his head, eyes glued to his half-eaten tuna sandwich.

 

“Wanna go see it with me?” 

 

If Changkyun had been chewing on anything he would definitely had choked on his food, but by some struck of luck there’s no food in his mouth so all he does is turn bright red and blink a few times in barely-concealed shock.

 

“He does! That’s his weird way of saying he would totally like to go see the movie with you,” Hyungwon pipes in, probably in an attempt to cover up for Changkyun’s total lack of social manners but it only makes the situation worse.

 

“Er… It’s ok if you don’t wanna go,” he hears Hoseok say and the disappointment in his voice is evident.

 

“N-no, I wanna go. I mean, all three of us can go, right?” Changkyun finally manages to say, directing his gaze at Hyungwon in a half-plea.

 

“That would be cool!” Hyungwon says enthusiastically, probably sensing Changkyun’s desperation.

 

Changkun sees Hoseok smiling in his peripheral vision and it makes his tummy feel weird. Maybe he should excuse himself and go to the restroom. Lunch is almost over anyway, and he can get to the classroom early and find a seat in the back far from Hoseok, so he can pretend to feel normal for a few hours.

 

Changkyun is about to get up and do just that when Hoseok beats him to it.

 

“Sorry, I gotta go now, guys. See you at Chem.”

 

“See ya, man,” Hyungwon says in the nonchalant way Changkyun only wishes he could master.

 

“Bye, Changkyun,” Hoseok says and the way he pronounces Changkyun’s name makes a shiver run up his spine. Changkyun squirms in his seat but manages to do a small wave in return, still staring at the table instead of meeting Hoseok’s gaze.

 

He positively hates himself.

 

 

•·················•·················•

  
  


 

“That was the most painful lunch I’ve ever had to go through and I spend every Sunday at my  homophobic aunt’s house.”

 

Changkyun and Hyungwon are walking home after classes ended, enjoying the last rays of the sun as it descends behind the mountains in the horizon. The streets are bathed in those orange and pink hues Changkyun loves and that make him feel a bit better about his crappy life. 

 

But what he’s currently feeling is far from peace of mind.  And there’s only one person to blame for it.

 

“Hoseok, he… Don’t you think he is weird?” Changkyun tentatively asks Hyungwon as he pushes his bike slowly along the sidewalk. 

 

“What do you mean by weird?” Hyungwon falls into step with Changkyun, turning to look at him with a rather confused look.

 

“Hm, first of all why does he want to be friends with me? With us? We’re boring. Also, he showed up at my house last night just to bring me a set of keys. He could’ve waited until this morning. Nobody is that nice.”

 

“He showed up at your house last night? How come you didn’t tell me?” Hyungwon’s eyebrows are raised so high they’re partially obscured by his bangs. It’s a bit of a comical look and Changkyun even manages to let out a chuckle at the sight despite his somber mood.

 

“Sorry, it escaped my mind. But yeah, he did. I mean, isn’t that super weird? I wonder if he has some ulterior motive. Though I don’t know what that could be because I can’t think of one thing he could want from me.”

 

Hyungwon hums and seems to ponder what Changkyun just said. They round a corner and walk a few more steps until they’re in front of Changkyun’s workplace and then they stop.

 

Hyungwon turns to Changkyun, looking serious and like he’s about to tell his friend the meaning of life itself. This can’t possibly be good, Changkyun thinks, bracing himself.

 

“I didn’t wanna tell you, because I know you hate to hear the truth, but since we’re here I might as well spill the beans,” Hyungwon stops and takes a deep breath as if he, too, is bracing himself.

 

“You’re scaring me,” Changkyun confesses and there’s a trace of a smile on Hyungwon’s lips before he’s back at looking like he’s about to drop a bomb.

 

“Hoseok might be your soulmate,” Hyungwon says and at the word ‘soulmate’ Changkyun is already rolling his eyes but Hyungwon pins him in place with both hands on Changkyun’s shoulders, looking him dead in the eye. 

 

“Listen, I know you don’t believe in it but I saw his wrist. It has your initials on it. And his initials are on yours. This can’t be a coincidence, Changkyun.”

 

Changkyun sighs, but allows Hyungwon to say his piece instead of turning his back and walking away because he feels like he owes his friend that much. Changkyun knows Hyungwon only wants the best for him and he also knows the other boy also believes that Changkyun really has someone out there who is meant for him, even if Changkyun himself doesn’t.

 

“His mark is way more clear than yours which tells me he probably isn’t as skeptical as you are and maybe, just maybe, he  _ knows _ ,” Hyungwon’s looking at him intensely, like he’s trying to see through Changkyun’s skull into his brain to gauge his actual thoughts and it’s freaking Changkyun out a bit.

 

Taking a step back and averting his gaze, Changkyun asks, “What do you mean he knows? He knows I’m his soulmate?”

 

“Yeah. Probably unconsciously though. That’s why he’s trying to get closer to you.”

 

“That…” Changkyun stops himself, before he finishes his sentence. He was going to say that what Hyungwon is saying doesn’t make any sense, but it actually kind of does — at least in a world where Changkyun believes this kind of shit. 

 

“Haven’t you felt anything unusual when you’re near him? Like a pull? Like you’re a magnet and he is a paper clip. Like you want to be with him or like you can’t help yourself around him?” The words make Changkyun stare at his friend wide-eyed. Hyungwon doesn’t miss it and the expression of triumph in his face is much too obvious. “I knew it! You do feel it, right?”

 

“Shut up! No, I don’t,” Changkyun attempts a lie but he knows Hyungwon has already seen through him. “And please don’t try to speak in metaphors again, you’re terrible at it. I’m no fucking  _ paper clip _ ,” Changkyun adds but Hyungwon isn’t at all phased by the off-hand comment.

 

“You can deny all you want, but you’ve felt it. You know there’s something there. I’m telling you, man, he is your destiny. Literally.” Hyungwon looks so excited that Changkyun is afraid his friend will start bouncing in place and squealing anytime soon.

 

“Look, I gotta go. I’m already late for my shift. We’ll talk later, ok?”

 

“Yeah, fine, but text me later. Or call me. Just don’t disappear on me,” Hyungwon says pointedly as if in warning.

 

“I won’t. Talk later.” Changkyun waves his friend goodbye and walks up to the parking lot where he chains his bike, then goes inside the store.

 

Needless to say he barely concentrates during the next five hours that his shift lasts. He ends up giving the wrong change twice and his uncle yells at him a few times noticing Changkyun’s distracted state.

 

Changkyun isn’t bothered by it though, too preoccupied with trying to come to terms with his own conflicting ideas about what Hyungwon said earlier.

 

Changkyun still doesn’t believe that Hoseok is his soulmate  —  argh, he really hates that word, even when said in his mind  — , but he also can’t explain the way he feels around Hoseok. It’s like he wants to keep a distance from the other boy but at the same time he wants to be as close to him as possible. On top of that, he’s the most socially awkward person ever so he doesn’t know how to deal with being around someone that prompts such strong reactions out of him. 

 

Being around Hoseok is like blissful torture and Changkyun wants to avoid it at all costs out of some instinct of self-preservation while still oddly craving the other boy’s presence. 

 

It’s hard to tell if he’ll manage to sort through his mixed feelings anytime soon, but if he keeps acting this way around Hoseok it’ll just make things harder. So as Changkyun’s riding his bike home after his shift is over, he vows to himself that he’s gonna try to act normal around the other boy. That is, if he can keep the possibility of Hoseok being his soulmate out of his mind.

 

 

•·················•·················•

 

  
  


The night all three of them are supposed to go to the movies, Hyungwon cancels at the last minute. 

 

Changkyun can’t say he didn’t see that coming. Luckily for him, he’s come prepared. Or at least that’s what he thinks until Hoseok shows up looking like he stepped out of one of Changkyun’s wet dreams; in skinny ripped jeans, a Metallica t-shirt that’s at least two sizes too small for him and his hair styled up; bangs pushed back with only a few strands of red hair falling against his forehead. To top it all off, Hoseok has a red bomber jacket draped over his shoulder and a half-smile that makes Changkyun’s legs tremble.

 

Feeling heat creep up his neck and warm the tip of his ears, Changkyun slowly slips into that panicked mode he always finds himself in when he’s around the other boy.

 

“Hyungwon couldn’t come,” Changkyun blurts out without thinking, stuffing his sweaty palms in his pockets so Hoseok wouldn’t attempt a handshake.

 

“Oh, that’s a shame,” Hoseok says without sounding even a little bit disappointed. 

 

Changkyun’s heart thunders in his chest for no apparent reason.

 

“Yeah. I already bought us both tickets. You can pay me later.” Changkyun retrieves one of the tickets from his pocket and gives it to Hoseok, making sure their fingers don’t touch in the process. He doesn’t want to be known as the clammy hands guy. Not by Hoseok. Why are his nerves betraying him like this?

 

“Cool. Thanks!” Hoseok accepts the ticket with a bright smile before Changkyun starts to lead the way inside the theatre.

 

They buy a large bowl of popcorn, two diet cokes and a pack of M&M’s which Hoseok insists to pay for since Changkyun already got them the tickets. There isn’t many people in this particular session so they easily find good seats. Once they’re all settled and the lights go off, Changkyun’s tension starts to dissipate, giving way to an unexpected pleasant feeling of familiarity. He doesn’t know where it comes from, but Changkyun suspects it has to do with being near Hoseok. 

 

Changkyun can’t explain why he has that impression since he hasn’t felt like that all the other times he was around the other boy, but again, there are a lot of things he can’t explain. Like the reason why when Hoseok’s fingers accidentally brush his wrist when they both reach for the popcorn at the same time, Changkyun feels a strange burn. Hoseok immediately retreats his hand while murmuring an apology, and Changkyun doesn’t miss the way he rubs his left wrist lightly like he, too, felt it burn.

 

Hyungwon’s words come back to him a rush at that exact moment: _ Hoseok might be your soulmate. _ Changkyun glances at Hoseok, who’s engrossed in the movie, seemingly paying no attention to Changkyun. He can’t explain, but it’s as if, even in the dark theatre, with the screen lights unevenly shining on his face, Hoseok looks too good to be true, too good for that shitty town and too good for Changkyun. 

 

A sudden urge to get up and run from there and find some place to hide and be alone takes over Changkyun and it takes all of his willpower to keep himself in place. Forcing himself to focus on the movie, he doesn’t dare look at Hoseok for the rest of the night.

 

“Did you like the movie?” Hoseok asks, later when they’re on their way home. The night is a little chilly so they’ve instinctively gravitated towards each other, seeking the warmth of each other’s bodies, walking a little too close for comfort.

 

“Yeah, it was great!” Changkyun answers almost robotically, the nervousness from earlier giving way to a type of melancholy he couldn’t seem to shake off. Still, he’s gradually becoming more comfortable around Hoseok, and he’s considering that a good thing. 

 

“I thought it could’ve been better, to be honest. There were too many plot holes. Hopefully they’ll fix it in the sequel.” Hoseok’s cheerful manner brings a small smile to Changkyun’s lips and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Hoseok. “This is the first time I see you smile!” he points out and Changkyun averts the other’s gaze immediately, looking down as embarrassment takes over.

 

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, sorry,” Hoseok sounds apologetic and Changkyun instantly feels bad.

 

“No, it’s okay. I’m just naturally awkward, especially around people I’m not really close to,” Changkyun tries to explain, still not looking at Hoseok.

 

“I understand. I hope we can become close then…” Hoseok’s voice trails off and Changkyun can’t resist but steal a glance at the boy next to him.

 

Hoseok’s cheeks are tinted a soft pink, probably from the cold breeze, but maybe — just maybe, Changkyun thinks — Hoseok is blushing. Just like him. The thought of the other boy being just as flustered as he is has Changkyun feeling a tiny bit more relaxed. It’s comforting that he isn’t the only one out of his element.

 

“Do you believe in soulmates?” The words leave Changkyun before he can even register what he’s saying. 

 

Hoseok’s eyes are back on Changkyun in a matter of seconds, and he seems to perk up at the question, his lips forming a soft smile.

 

“I do. Do you?” Changkyun isn’t surprised at the answer.

 

“Not really.”  _ At least, I didn’t… Now I’m not so sure. _

 

“Why?” Hoseok asks and suddenly comes to a stop. Changkyun guesses they’ve arrived at Hoseok’s house. 

 

“I have no reason to, honestly. My parents don’t have soulmate marks or whatever. It’s just hard for me to believe there’s someone meant for me out there.” Changkyun looks around, noticing they’re not very far from his own neighborhood. He barely notices the way Hoseok is looking at him, like he is both sad and intrigued by Changkyun’s words.

 

“Do you have a soulmate mark?”

 

“Yeah, I guess. It’s a birthmark, but Hyungwon insists they’re initials,” Changkyun answers. He is trying really hard to ignore the rapid beating of his heart and the strange burn on his wrist right where the mark is.

 

“Can I see it?” Hoseok’s tone is hesitant and shy as if he’s not sure what he’s asking is okay, but Changkyun doesn’t even hesitate. He raises his arm, ready to roll up the sleeves of his hoodie when a distant voice calls Hoseok’s name.

 

“I’m coming, mom,” Hoseok calls back. “Sorry, Changkyun, I gotta go.”

 

“It’s okay. I’ll show you some other time,” Changkyun says, lowering his arm again. 

 

“Tonight was great. Let’s do this again some other time. See you at school!” Hoseok starts for his house across the street.

 

“Sure. Bye!” Changkyun waves briefly and watches as Hoseok disappears through the open door, shutting it behind himself with a mix of disappointment and relief.

  
  


 

•·················•·················•

  
  


 

Last month, if someone had told Changkyun he would be having lunch every day with the coolest kid in the school  —  at least in his opinion —, he would have laughed in their face. But now, here he is, doing exactly that after two weeks. It has even become a habit of him to slip an extra pudding cup into his tray without the cafeteria lady seeing because he knows Hoseok likes them and he always asks if he can have Changkyun’s.

 

“Here, you can have mine and I brought you an extra one,” Changkyun says ignoring Hyungwon’s heavy gaze on him.

 

“Thank you, Kyunie!” Hoseok’s smile is so worth the risk of getting caught and being called a thief in front of the whole school that Changkyun finds himself smiling back.

 

“Where’s  _ my _ extra pudding?” Hyungwon asks just to be annoying and Changkyun flips him off, but lets his friend steal some of his fries anyway.

 

Hoseok’s happily eating his pudding, but then, he actually stops and offers some to Hyungwon who instantly declines with an awkward chuckle. Changkyun rolls his eyes at his friend, but doesn’t say anything.

 

They’re fairly quiet today after taking a biology test in the third period that they’re all convinced they bombed. Well, Changkyun and Hoseok are convinced while Hyungwon is in denial. 

 

“I pulled an all-nighter yesterday, I have to get at least a B plus!” the lanky kid keeps mumbling, haunched overy his tray.

 

“I’m sure you did well, Hyungwon!” Hoseok tries to console Hyungwon and it’s kind of cute Changkyun thinks. He’s definitely  _ not _ swooning over Hoseok’s caring and tender personality, he’s  _ not _ .

 

Things have changed quite a bit in the past couple of weeks since Hoseok’s been spending more time with them at school, but Changkyun has refused to admit it to himself that his feelings for the other boy are changing so fast. Not that Changkyun had any kind of feelings to begin with, right? Right.

 

But now he definitely has and little by little he’s realizing it. Hyungwon seems to be light years ahead of him though, and is constantly bringing up Hoseok in conversation whenever it’s just the two of them to get a reaction out of Changkyun. On rare occasions, Changkyun doesn’t care about trying to hide his growing interest on the red-haired boy. More frequently though, Changkyun ignores Hyungwon completely and refuses to take the bait. Changkyun feels like he needs time to sort his feelings out on his own, whatever they might be or mean. 

 

He also has avoided showing the mark on his wrist to Hoseok, in fear that it will, somehow, put something in motion that he’s not yet ready to face. Changkyun has been wearing long-sleeved shirts and hoodies to school even on hot days which has sparked some concerned questions from his mom, but that’s easy enough to deal with. 

 

The hardest part is keeping Hyungwon from trying to get Hoseok to see Changkyun’s mark. Or it had been until Changkyun pulled him aside one day after Hyungwon intentionally spilled juice all over his hoodie and told him to back off or else. Hyungwon is a stubborn person, but the way Changkyun looked at him like he would not hesitate to piss on everything Hyungwon loved seems to have done the trick because the attempts stopped after that.

 

The fact that Hoseok doesn’t know about what’s engraved on Changkyun’s skin does nothing to keep Changkyun’s mind from it though. Lately, he finds himself staring at the marks more and more. At night, he lies in bed tracing the letters on the soft skin of his wrist with the pad of a finger, his mind conjuring up images of Hoseok’s slightly crooked smile, easy laughter and shiny eyes. 

 

A couple of times, Changkyun falls asleep and dreams of kissing Hoseok’s lips. The dreams are so vivid and so real that he wakes up with his lips tingling as if he had really been kissed. He swears he can taste Hoseok’s lips and even the slightly metallic aftertaste of his lip piercing. Of course it’s not real but it feels real enough to leave Changkyun confused and aching with a feeling of longing he’s never experienced before.

 

The long-awaited road trip with his friends on the weekend comes as a relief to Changkyun. Convinced it’ll be a good distraction, and in hopes that it’ll get him some perspective on the whole Hoseok-being-his-soulmate situation, Changkyun spends the entire week leading up to it unusually excited and in good spirits.

 

Which ends up making him careless. 

 

Then, on Friday morning, Changkyun walks into class, his mood matching the sunny day outside. He’s wearing a simple white short-sleeved shirt and his favorite light wash ripped jeans. Walking up to his usual seat next to Hoseok — who’s already there, as usual, always early —, Changkyun gives the other boy a nod and a smile in greeting. Their homeroom teacher isn’t in yet, so Hyungwon is hanging by the door talking to some people Changkyun has no interest in befriending. 

 

“You look good today,” Hoseok says and Changkyun immediately blushes a crimson red.

 

“T-thanks,” he mumbles, staring at his desk and all the stupid carvings left there by long-gone seniors.

 

Changkyun doesn’t dare looking at Hoseok’s face for the remainder of the morning until lunchtime comes and there’s no avoiding it. Thankfully, Hoseok doesn’t compliment Changkyun anymore and it’s a little easier for the latter to act normal —  or at least as normal as he can around the red-haired boy. 

 

They’re hanging out at their usual spot under the bleachers when it happens. 

 

Hyungwon is busy copying some notes from a class he missed and Changkyun and Hoseok are eating their lunches in blissful silence, only punctuated by a comment or two from Hoseok on how shitty the food from the cafeteria tastes today. Changkyun then remembers the pop tarts he has in his locker for emergencies. 

 

“I have some pop tarts in my locker, want me to get them for you?” Changkyun offers, already standing up and dusting off his jeans.

 

“No, that’s fine, Kyun. I’ll survive, don’t worry,” Hoseok is quick to decline but Changkyun’s having none of it.

 

“It’s no trouble. I can run there and back in five minutes.” Changkyun takes a step forward toward the doors, but Hoseok stops him with a hand on his wrist.

 

And then it happens. Changkyun’s wrist  _ burns _ . It literally feels like it’s on fire, like he was holding it over a stove burner. Instinctively, Changkyun immediately pulls his arm back from Hoseok’s grasp, holding his wrist in his other hand against his chest. Hoseok’s looking at Changkyun in such a confused manner, but when Changkyun doesn’t say anything else, just stands there, rubbing his wrist and appearing shocked, Hoseok stands up.

 

Hyungwon is now watching them, too, but he’s eerily quiet. 

 

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” Hoseok steps closer to Changkyun, a concerned look on his face.

 

Changkyun shakes his head, apparently unable to speak or move for that matter. Behind him, Hyungwon stands up, however still maintains a safe distance from the other two. 

 

“Kyunie, what’s wrong?” Hoseok’s voice sounds so soft, coated with worry and tenderness and Changkyun feels tears well up in his eyes. He knows he’s on the very brink of losing it, too overwhelmed, too exhausted to keep everything bottled up inside. And he  _ almost  _ made it. He just had to get through today and tomorrow he’d be crossing state borders with his best friends and spending time away from this crappy town, this stupid school and his even more stupid feelings for Hoseok.

 

Shaking his head, Changkyun takes a deep breath, shoulders sagging in defeat as he looks into Hoseok’s eyes. Slowly, under the boy’s watchful gaze, Changkyun lets go of his wrist and stretches his arm out toward Hoseok. He gasps softly when his own gaze lands on his wrist where the initials are more visible than ever; it’s like they were freshly open wounds except they don’t bleed. 

 

It looks unbearably ugly and ominous to Changkyun so he avoids his gaze, proceeding to stare at the ground instead. He holds in a breath when he feels Hoseok’s hand gently take his. Hoseok gets even closer, holding Changkyun’s hand as he examines Changkyun’s wrist.

 

Hyungwon’s watching the scene, unmoving and silent, which Changkyun’s rather thankful for, even if some part of him wishes Hyungwon would step in and break the current tension in the air.

 

“This…  _ Changkyun _ ,” the way Hoseok says his name shakes Changkyun out of his shock-induced lethargy, but  also adds to his inner turmoil. Everything’s so much right now that Changkyun has no idea how he’s still standing, feeling like his legs will give out on him at any second.

 

“Yeah, I know,” Changkyun’s voice comes out so pathetically weak, he regrets he even spoke in the first place.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hoseok asks. Changkyun feels bile rise up his throat, getting sicker by the second. He really can’t do this.

 

“I don’t know, I--,” Changkyun starts, then stops to clear his throat, trying to make himself sound less pitiful. Then he continues after a moment, “I don’t really believe in it. The soulmate mark or whatever you call it. It’s bullshit.”

 

Changkyun doesn’t need to look at Hoseok to know that his words hurt the other boy. He feels it when Hoseok flinches, but the hold on Changkyun’s hand tightens. Then there’s a feather-like touch on his wrist. It doesn’t burn like it did when Hoseok held it earlier. It just tingles slightly, like an itch that Changkyun does his best not to scratch. The initials still look as clear as they did before though. 

 

“You knew about mine, didn’t you?” Hoseok’s words come out slightly strained, like he’s trying to hold back tears. Hatred bubbles up in Changkyun’s chest —  he hates himself for this, it’s all his fault because he’s a careless piece of shit. He got distracted and forgot to wear a hoodie or a long-sleeved shit like he’d been wearing every day precisely because he wanted to avoid what’s happening now.

 

“He did. I told him,” Hyungwon pipes up, catching Hoseok’s attention. Changkyun still doesn’t look up, convinced the cracks on the pavement are a much better view than Hoseok’s betrayed expression.

 

In his peripheral, Changkyun sees when Hoseok nods curtly. Then he lets go of Changkyun’s wrist. Changkyun lets his arm fall to his side, the tingling feeling still there but slowly subsiding. 

 

“Why don’t you believe?” Hoseok asks and Changkyun can’t,  _ shouldn’t _ look at him, but he does because a little voice in his head keeps telling him he owes Hoseok that much. He can’t keep treating the other boy like this, he doesn’t deserve it —  not from Changkyun.

 

“It’s… complicated. I don’t know what I believe in anymore,” Changkyun answers, staring at Hoseok. He looks a little sad, but there’s no anger in his expression.  _ Hoseok’s not mad at me,  _ Changkyun thinks with a sense of relief. Somehow, he’s convinced he couldn’t bear if Hoseok was angry at him.

 

“I was so confused when I saw you that first time at the store. I felt drawn to you and I didn’t know why. And then, I saw you at school and the teacher made you sit next to me and-,” Hoseok stops talking abruptly, then he holds his own left wrist in his hand, tracing the inner side of it with the pad of his thumb; his gaze lost like he’s remembering some distant memory. 

 

“And my mark, it started to burn. Since I arrived in town it got clearer and kind of itchy, but I didn’t pay it any mind. Until that morning. And then I knew... Sort of? I mean, I wasn’t sure, but I guess, in my heart, I always knew.”

 

Changkyun listens to every word Hoseok says with a growing feeling of anxiety in his chest. It gets progressively harder for him to stay there and listen to Hoseok and look at him not knowing how to respond to what he’s saying because he’s an utter and complete mess. 

 

Fortunately, Hyungwon intervenes again, “Kyun didn’t really believe he had a soulmate, but he also felt the way you did, Hoseok. He just didn’t know how to deal with it.”  _ And I still don’t,  _ Changkyun thinks, swallowing a bitter laugh.

 

“Of course. I understand. It’s never easy… Meeting your soulmate. The idea alone of having someone out there in the world. who you don’t know but that’s the perfect match for you is a little crazy. I’ve always believed it, but I completely understand where you’re coming from, Kyunie,” Hoseok addresses him like he’s the one who spoke and not Hyungwon. Changkyun suddenly decides he needs to get the hell out of there before he does or says something he will regret. He needs time to sort things out.

 

“I gotta go,” he says, after a moment of silence.

 

“Go? Where? We still have biology and PA in the afternoon,” Hoseok says, confused.

 

“Make up an excuse for me. I need to go home, I don’t feel so well,” Changkyun sends Hyungwon a pleading look and his friend stares at him knowingly before nods.

 

“But…,” Hoseok starts but seems to think better of it, letting his voice die down.

 

“Bye, see you later,” Changkyun says hurriedly, then he’s grabbing his backpack from the ground and practically running towards the school building without looking back.

 

His first thought is to call Minhyuk and ask if he can crash at his house since they have to leave at the crack of dawn the next day. When Changkyun finally gains the street after maneuvering his way out of the school unseen, he’s already dialing Minhyuk’s phone number.

 

“Hey, Kyunie, what’s up?” Minhyuk’s familiar loud and cheery tone serves to sober Changkyun up a little and make him feel a little less like he just went through the nine circles of hell and back.

 

“Hi, hyung, I was wondering… Can I crash at your place tonight? It’ll be easier for you not having to go to my place and then also Hyungwon’s to pick him up.” Changkyun hopes he sounds as normal as he’s trying to. He doesn’t wanna worry his friend.

 

“Sure, that’s a great idea! We can watch a movie and order pizza, it’ll be just like old times,” Minhyuk’s answer comes without hesitation.

 

“Great! I’ll just go home to pick up my stuff and I should be at yours in an hour or so.” Changkyun stops pushing his bike once he’s a considerable distance away from the school gates.

 

“Sounds good. See you then, Kyunie.”

 

The call ends and Changkyun stuffs his phone back in his pocket before he hops on his bike and starts pedalling at a fast pace. He tries really hard not to think of Hoseok and what went down just minutes before, tries not to imagine what Hyungwon and him must be talking about now; Hyungwon probably trying to defend Changkyun’s behavior and Hoseok, ever so understanding, telling Hyungwon he understands and that he shouldn’t worry about it.

 

Changkyun barely realises he’s crying until he’s pulling up in front of his house and now that the harsh wind isn’t hitting his cheeks like little razor blades he feels the wet tears already drying on his face.  _ Ugh, Changkyun. Snap out of it! _ He abandons his bike in the front porch, using the hem of his shirt to wipe his face before he unlocks the door and announces his arrival to his mom.

 

Then, he’s running upstairs to get his stuff, forcing his mind to focus on the weekend ahead of him and absolutely nothing else.

 

 

•·················•·················•

 

  
  


The next morning, Changkyun wakes up after barely getting any sleep. He and Minhyuk had stayed up until late watching the  _ Alien _ trilogy, eating pizza and catching up on each other’s lives. Changkyun had, purposefully, not mentioned Hoseok even once, still not ready to share that particular development in his personal life with his friend — Changkyun had a feeling Minhyuk would have  _ a lot _ to say on the matter.

 

The two of them get in Minhyuk’s car and Changkyun immediately turns on some music, both to drown out his intrusive thoughts and to wake him up. As soon as the first beats of Humble by Kendrick Lamar start playing, Minhyuk howls excitedly and Changkyun laughs at his older friend. Changkyun rolls down his window to let the fresh morning breeze in and takes a deep breath, promising himself he’ll have a good time during this trip. It’s a long weekend and Changkyun’s been dreaming of spending quality time with his friends since they’ve moved away, so he’s decided not to let anything spoil it.

 

After they pick Hyungwon up, it doesn’t take long for them to reach the highway, the sun steadily rising in the sky, the temperature rising along with it and making sweat brew on Changkyun’s forehead and the fabric of his shirt stick to his back. Hyungwon, feeling equally hot in the backseat of the car, whines until Minhyuk turns the air conditioner on —  not without complaining about Hyungwon being a spoiled brat though. Changkyun chuckles at Minhyuk’s remark, but murmurs a ‘thanks’ in Hyungwon’s direction.

 

“Where’s Kihyun meeting us again?” Hyungwon asks as he sucks on a tangerine lollipop that makes the whole car smell citrusy.

 

“Just before we reach the interstate. He was visiting his boyfriend.” Minhyuk rolls his eyes and makes over exaggerated gagging noises at the word  _ boyfriend _ . Changkyun and Hyungwon exchange knowing looks. Minhyuk’s always been super attached to Kihyun and he’s always hated every person Kihyun ever dated, making his reaction no surprise to the younger boys. Still, Changkyun thinks it’s time for Minhyuk to grow out of it.

 

“Right. Is his boyfriend coming along?” Changkyun asks, curious.

 

“Nope. He has work or something. Besides, this trip is just for us. I don’t want Kihyun’s little bitch boyfriend killing our fun.”

 

Changkyun holds back a snort at Minhyuk’s choice of words because Hyunwoo is everything but little. Changkyun’s never met the guy, but he’s seen plenty of pics of him in Kihyun’s Instagram and Hyunwoo could definitely snap Minhyuk in half for calling him a  _ little bitch.  _

 

“You should’ve snatched him when you had the chance, hyung,” Hyungwon comments too nonchalantly for his own good. Changkyun notices how Minhyuk’s grip on the steering wheel tightens.

 

“Shut up, Wonnie,” Minhyuk says through gritted teeth. Changkyun is actually surprised he didn’t tell Hyungwon to fuck off. Minhyuk seems a lot more mature to him all of a sudden.

 

“Hey, just telling it like it is here,” Hyungwon shrugs and Changkyun pumps up the volume so Hyungwon doesn’t hear Minhyuk’s string of curses, Frank Ocean’s voice infinitely more pleasant to Changkyun’s ears than his friends’ useless banter.

 

By the time they stop for breakfast in a gas station diner by the road, Hyungwon has given up on trying to rile Minhyuk up and they talk about school life over pancakes and sunny-side up eggs. Hyungwon is in talkative mood so he gives Minhyuk a detailed account of their first four months as seniors in high school, thankfully leaving Changkyun’s soulmate conundrum out of it.

 

Kihyun joins them a few hours later, a little before noon, and Changkyun goes join Hyungwon in the backseat of the car so Kihyun can ride shotgun. Kihyun looks different than the last time Changkyun saw him, he thinks. Minhyuk looks exactly the same, just with a different haircut, but Kihyun looks more mature and like an actual adult. Changkyun tells him so during their quick stop for gas and refreshments and Kihyun brings him closer in a one-armed hug, tight and familiar.

 

“You know I’m still the same Kihyun though, right?” Kihyun says, ruffling Changkyun’s hair affectionately.

 

“Of course, hyung,” Changkyun replies with a shy smile. 

 

The few remaining hours on the road go by fast with Hyungwon taking a nap, head resting on Changkyun’s shoulder while Changkyun plays games on his phone and quietly sings along to whatever pop song comes on  — he had tried to battle Minhyuk for control of the music a while ago and had surrendered to listening to Britney Spears and Destiny’s Child entire discography. Not that he minds though, Britney’s got some bangers.

 

“We’re here!” Minhyuk announces excitedly, the engine of the car dying. Changkyun hadn’t realized he’d dozed off, wiping a string of saliva off his chin and pokes Hyungwon’s cheek to wake him up

 

It takes a while for Hyungwon to situate himself. He blinks up cutely at Changkyun and the latter scrunches up his face, pointing to his own chin to signal Hyungwon that he’s also got drool on his.

 

Hyungwon wipes his chin with the sleeve of his jacket and thanks Changkyun with a grunt before they step out of the car. They get their stuff from the trunk and start walking toward the house. It’s a nice two-storey house with a little garden in the front and Changkyun’s impressed. He doesn’t know why they would need to stay in a house instead of a hotel, but Kihyun had mentioned that Hyunwoo’s uncle owned the house and he’d let them stay there almost for free.

 

Minhyuk calls dibs on the upstairs suite and Kihyun gets the other room which leaves Hyungwon and Changkyun to share the downstairs guest bedroom which suits them well enough since it has two twin beds. Changkyun really doesn’t fancy sleeping with Hyungwon in the same bed since the other boy is a certified blanket  _ and _ pillow stealer, so he’s grateful for the separate beds.

 

The fridge is empty and no-one feels like going out for dinner since they’re all kind of tired so Kihyun and Changkyun offer to buy groceries while Minhyuk and Hyungwon are left in charge of ordering takeout. 

 

Kihyun lets Changkyun in charge of the music for their short drive to the grocery store and Changkun happily puts on some Lupe Fiasco, drumming along to the music on his thighs. 

 

“So, Kyunie, how’s the last year of high school been treating you?” Kihyun asks, glancing at Changkyun with a small smile.

 

“Good, I guess,” Changkyun lies. He feels like he’s been through the wringer for the past month and he hates his town, school, job and his life in general, but he doesn’t want to sound like the angsty, depressed kid. He’d rather have his friend think he’s been doing well, despite that being far from the truth.

 

“Still set on going away for college?” Kihyun accepts Changkyun’s answer, not pressing on and Changkyun’s grateful for that.

 

“Very much so. I can’t stand that place anymore,” this time Changkyun is as sincere as he can be.

 

Kihyun chuckles and nods in understanding. Changkyun knows the older boy can relate. He remembers it very well, how happy Kihyun looked the day he left for college, finally free from his alcoholic father who never gave a shit about his son. Changkyun was so happy for his friend, well aware that Kihyun wouldn’t have survived another year in that toxic environment, he didn’t even allow himself to cry over the fact that he would barely be able to see Kihyun from that moment onwards.

 

“Best thing I ever did was going away to study. I met so many wonderful people and am experiencing things I never thought I would,” Kihyun says and even in the dim lighting Changkyun can see the happiness in his friend’s face.

 

“I’m really happy for you, hyung,” Changkyun says sincerely. 

 

“Soon it’ll be you, Kyunie,” Kihyun winks at him and Changkyun smiles widely at his friend.

 

After they buy groceries, Kihyun manages to get them lost on their way back to the house. It takes them half an hour to find the right route, but it allows them to spend more quality time together so Changkyun doesn’t really mind. It’s not until they’re almost home that Kihyun touches on the exact subject Changkyun’s been avoiding.

 

“Any love interests, Kyunie?” It’s like Kihyun  _ knows _ , but that would be impossible unless Hyungwon had opened his mouth, which Changkyun’s sure he hadn’t. Well, not one hundred percent sure, but Changkyun has faith in Hyungwon, he trusts him, so he hopes his friend didn’t betray his trust.

 

“Er… no?” Changkyun answers tentatively but he knows that was weak as shit.

 

“You sure? I don’t mean to pry. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I noticed your soulmate mark earlier…”

 

Changkyun groans loudly, sliding further down the car seat  — as further as the seat belt allows him —, pulling down his hoodie’s sleeve to cover his wrist like it’d even matter at this point.

 

“What? What happened? Is something wrong?” the concern in Kihyun’s voice brings back memories of Hoseok the day before and Changkyun finds himself feeling worse by the second.

 

“No, I just don’t really wanna talk about it,” Changkyun grumbles, fighting a pout.

 

“That’s okay, Kyunie. You don’t have to tell me anything. At least not now,” Kihyun says and Changkyun’s thankful, choosing to ignore the last part. He’ll worry about it when the time comes.

 

“Thanks, hyung,” Changkyun says before they fall into silence, Lupe’s rhymes in Old School Love filling the gap their words left.

  
  


 

•·················•·················•

  
  


 

On Sunday morning, they go down to the beach, ready to spend the day under the sun, but the weather takes an unexpected turn mid-morning forcing them to leave early to avoid the storm already forming in the horizon. Changkyun doesn’t mind, not a big fan of the beach, and is happy when his friends decide to drive to the nearest mall where there’s an arcade.

 

They kill time playing at the arcade until lunch time when they drive to one of the famous local seafood restaurants. It takes a while for them to decide on what to order and when they finally do their poor waiter looks so overwhelmed with how big their order is, Changkyun feels sorry for the man. If there’s one thing Changkyun and his friends have always been proud of is how well they eat.

 

While they await their order, Hyungwon catches Changkyun’s attention by pinching his thigh, which — Changkyun lets his friend know with a glare —  is completely unnecessary given they’re sitting right next to each other.

 

“Hoseok texted me earlier this morning,” Hyungwon says, doing Changkyun the favor of keeping his voice lowered so only Changkyun would be able to listen. 

 

“He did?” Changkyun tries to sound like he doesn’t care, but knows he fails because Hyungwon rolls his eyes at him.

 

“He asked me if you were okay. He said he texted you, but you didn’t reply.”

 

“No, I didn’t” Changkyun shrugs, slurping on his iced tea and feigning nonchalance, even though his pulse sped up as soon as Hyungwon mentioned Hoseok’s name.

 

“I hope you’re not planning on ignoring him forever. He really likes you and cares about you, you know?” Hyungwon continues talking, but he seems to forget that they’re not alone in the table, his voice rising to a normal level.

 

It, of course, doesn’t fly under Minhyuk’s radar.

 

“Who likes Kyunie?” Minhyuk asks, leaning forward with his elbows on the table, his gaze switching from Hyungwon to Changkyun.

 

“No-one,” Changkyun answers quickly, which only serves to pique Minhyuk’s curiosity more. Kihyun, in turn, is silent next to Minhyuk, watching the exchange but also looking ready to step in and rescue Changkyun if he needs to. 

 

“Come on, Kyunie, are you going to keep secrets from your best friends in the entire world?” Minhyuk tries but Changkyun doesn’t say anything, focusing on his drink instead. He knows Minhyuk’s attention span is short. He won’t be able to focus on Changkyun’s business for too long before he gives up.

 

“It’s really nothing, hyung,” Hyungwon tries to remedy it and Changkyun appreciates it.

 

“Hyunwoo was telling me about this really good ramen place, maybe we should check it out later?” Kihyun pipes up, attempting to change the subject and it, surprisingly, works.

 

“Ugh, stop texting your boyfriend for one second, Kihyun. We  _ know _ you can’t live without him and that he’s your soulmate, but give us a break!” Minhyuk complains, crossing his arms over his chest with a sour expression.

 

Changkyun stops paying attention as soon as the word  _ soulmate _ is uttered, though. He feels that familiar tingling sensation on the inner side of his left wrist, his hand instinctively flying there to rub at the spot. But then, Kihyun gazes at him and Changkyun stops, fishing his phone out of his pocket to distract himself.

 

It turns out that isn’t the best distraction tactic given he has about a dozen unanswered texts from Hoseok. Without actually meaning to, Changkyun ends up opening Hoseok’s chat history and reading over the messages again:

 

**[5:00PM] Hoseok:** u okay? I’m worried about you :(

**[10:13PM] Hoseok:** i’m sorry i dumped all that on you. I hope you’re okay! have fun on your trip ^.^

**[07:55AM] Hoseok:** stay safe and drink lots of water. it’s so hot outside >_<

**[09:01AM] Hoseok:** kyunie, please answer me 

**[09:01AM] Hoseok:** please

**[09:02AM] Hoseok:** pls??

**[10:00AM] Hoseok:** i hope we can still be friends :/ i miss u

**[10:25AM] Hoseok:** i texted hyungwon and he told me you’re okay i’m glad 

**[12:00PM] Hoseok:** i’m sorry again

 

Changkyun stomach churns, his eyes filling with tears when he thinks of how much of an asshole he’s being. But he can’t help it. He knows he’s still not ready to talk to Hoseok. It would only make things worse when he doesn’t even know what he feels for the other boy exactly. It would make something that’s already a mess, even messier, and that’s not what Changkyun wants. He knows he likes Hoseok, but is that enough? He doesn’t know if he’s ready to deal with all the implications of having his actual soulmate in his life; the person he’s supposed to spend his whole life with, who’s supposed to complete him in every sense of the word. 

 

There are these stupid initials carved on his wrist that basically decide his future for him and Changkyun hates that, always hated it, always  _ loathed _ the very idea that there’s something out there, some force or whatever, that has that kind of power over his life. Changkyun didn’t even believe it was real until Hoseok showed up and turned his entire world upside down and now, Changkyun is faced with the biggest decision of his life: is he going to submit to fate or defy it?

 

He’s on the verge of a breakdown again and he can feel it. Not wanting to worry his friends, he stands up and excuses himself, saying he needs to go to the restroom. He ignores the looks of concern his friends give him, thinking it’s both a blessing and a curse that he has friends who know him so well. Changkyun walks in the direction of the restrooms, but takes a detour midway through, heading to one of side exits.

 

The storm from earlier has already dwindled, no more than a drizzle when Changkyun steps outside. He doesn’t mind a little rain, deciding to take a walk to clear his head. He’s barely made it across the parking lot though, when he hears hurried footsteps behind him. Next thing he knows, Kihyun is by his side, trying to catch his breath with a hand on Changkyun’s shoulder. 

 

Changkyun stops walking and stares at his friend with what he hopes is an unamused expression. 

 

“Where are you going?” Kihyun asks as soon as he’s able to breathe properly again.

 

“Nowhere. Thought I would take a walk, got to know the neighborhood…” Changkyun really needs to up his lying game, he thinks with a wince.

 

“Yeah? Can I join you?” Kihyun asks, clearly feigning obliviousness even when Changkyun knows that Kihyun can see right through him.

 

“Sure,” Changkyun shrugs after a pause during which he scans his brain for a way out and finds none.

 

The pair walk in silence, side by side for a while, until even the drizzle stops and the sun starts to peek through the mid-afternoon clouds. After they’ve walked a considerable distance and the silence starts to hang heavy between them, Kihyun finally speaks up.

 

“So are you going to tell me what’s up or will I have to wait until Hyungwon is drunk and spills everything?” Kihyun has his hands in his pockets and he’s giving Changkyun one of those looks of his that always leaves Changkyun feeling like he’s a little kid and Kihyun is this wise, much older adult, even though his friend is only one year older than him.

 

Changkyun sighs, chest heavy and tight from simply thinking about what to say. He knows Kihyun won’t give him shit for being conflicted and unsure, but he knows his friend won’t approve of the way he’s been ignoring Hoseok when all the other has done is be kind and considerate to Changkyun.

 

Bracing himself for Kihyun’s reaction, Changkyun tells him everything in one breath, not leaving anything out. Even letting Kihyun know about the way he feels —  or thinks he feels — about Hoseok, all of his fears and doubts. Kihyun listens to everything carefully, in silence until he’s sure Changkyun’s done. Then he takes a deep breath himself and stops walking, causing Changkyun to also come to a halt. The ocean is visible from where they’re standing, but Changkyun’s staring at his shoes instead.

 

“You know Hyunwoo is my soulmate, right?” 

 

Changkyun looks up immediately, surprised. He didn’t know. He thought Kihyun simply met his boyfriend in college and that was it, no soulmate mark or destiny involved. Apparently, he was wrong.

 

“I didn’t know,” Changkyun voices his thoughts out loud. Kihyun nods and gives him a small smile in return. “How did it happen?” Changkyun asks.

 

“In the most ordinary way possible. I never thought it would happen like it did. He’s the RA in my dorm and one day someone set the fire alarm off while heating something up in the microwave at one of the common areas, and that’s how we met.” Kihyun smiles grow larger as he tells the story, a contemplative expression settling on his face. “We hung out a couple of times after that because of mutual acquaintances, and then, after about a month of knowing each other the subject of soulmates came up. We ended up showing each other our marks and that’s how we found out.”

 

Changkyun’s mind jumps back  to the moment he found out about Hoseok’s mark, the moment Hoseok found out about his and how Changkyun kept the knowledge hidden from the other boy for so long because he didn’t know how to deal with it. Kihyun’s story seems much better than his, and it probably has a better ending than Changkyun’s will ever have.

 

“Then did you just… start dating?” Changkyun asks, rocking back and forth on his heels out of nervousness.

 

“Of course not! We weren’t in love or anything back then, we were just friends. But when we realized we were soulmates, everything kind of made sense. Why we felt this attraction towards each other, like we wanted to spend time together and even when we did spend time it was never enough. It’s odd, but to me, there’s a sense of finally belonging, of being home, when I’m with Hyunwoo. He says, to him, it feels like his whole life was a long journey and when he met me he felt like he had finally reached his destination.”

 

It’s not out of character for Kihyun to be so open about things, yet Changkyun still feels overwhelmed and a little taken aback at what his friend’s telling him. He’s aware that Kihyun’s always believed in soulmates, although he was never as intense about it as Hyungwon is and he never got on Changkyun’s case for being skeptical about it; but still, what Kihyun’s telling him feels so impossible to him, so far from what he’s experienced, that he can’t help but be affected by it.

 

“I don’t feel like that at all about Hoseok. I mean, there’s definitely the attraction thing, but it unsettles me more than it puts me at ease or makes me feel like home,” Changkyun says sincerely. He’s decided there’s no point in pretending in front of Kihyun.

 

“It’s different for everyone, Kyunie. Especially since you never believed in it. I think what’s happening is that your mind and your heart are at war right now. You need to find a common ground and, somehow, settle the conflict.” Kihyun sends Changkyun the most sympathetic look, and reaches out to squeeze his shoulder. 

 

“And how do I do that?” Changkyun asks, voice a little hoarse, emotions catching up to him and threatening to pour out in form of tears.

 

“I understand you thought it would be good to distance yourself, but even though you’re physically away from Hoseok, you haven’t stopped thinking about the matter for a single second, have you?” Kihyun gives him a pointed look but it’s soft around the edges, just like this words and Changkyun doesn’t flinch. 

 

“No. I’m actually thinking about it more.” He laughs bitterly, one corner of his lips upturned in self-mockery.

 

“Right. And you’ve been ignoring Hoseok, which you know it’s wrong. At least from what you’ve told me, he’s owed a little more consideration than what you’re giving him.”

 

Changkyun doesn’t hate Kihyun for being so right but it stings to hear a truth he already knows, even if just a little bit. He knew this was coming though, and he can do nothing but agree.

 

“I’ll text him back, I guess. Tell him we should talk when I get back,” Changkun says, more to convince himself than Kihyun.

 

“Good, you should. You won’t figure things out by avoiding the problem. Although I wouldn’t exactly call it a problem.” Kihyun looks pensive for a second as they start walking and Changkyun glances at his friend, curiously.

 

“What would you call it, then?” he asks once Kihyun takes too long to answer.

 

“Teenage hormones” Kihyun deadpans causing Changkyun to groan and hide his face in his hands. Then, Kihyun is laughing and throwing an arm around Changkyun’s shoulder, bringing him closer.

 

“I hate you,” Changkyun says, laughing as he’s squished against Kihyun’s side. 

 

“No, you don’t,” Kihyun answers as they start making their way back to the restaurant, both Changkyun’s conscience and heart in a much lighter state than before their talk.

 

 

  
•·················•·················•

 

 

The rest of the weekend passes in a blur, with Changkyun texting Hoseok back telling him that he’s fine and just needed some time to think and promising that they would talk as soon as Changkyun is back in town. Hoseok seems so happy at getting news directly from Changkyun, it makes him feel considerably less shitty, which improves his mood and allows him to actually enjoy the time he has with his friends.

 

On Monday night, he gets home exhausted, passing out in bed as soon as his body hits the mattress and missing the texts Hyungwon sends him asking if he got home okay since he had to bike from Minhyuk’s place. 

 

On Tuesday, he skips class because, lucky him, he caught a cold. Fuck the beach, honestly. And the rain. And his stupid teenage hormones, as Kihyun so wisely put it. 

 

Changkyun actually texts Hoseok when he doesn’t go to school, letting him know why, and suggesting he comes by later if he’s not afraid of catching a cold. He tells basically the same thing to Hyungwon, but his friend declines the offer. Hoseok, on the other hand, replies with about half a dozen smiley face emojis and a “i’ll drop by after school”. Changkyun hearts leaps in his chest upon reading the text.

 

Deciding to finally climb out of bed and take a shower is a good idea, Changkyun risks getting out of his room for the first time since he got home, a little before two in the afternoon. His mom commends him and when he tells her Hoseok’s coming over, she runs to the kitchen to make  _ tteokbokki  _ or something equally mom-esque. Changkyun, who’s in a good mood despite feeling like he was on a strict sandpaper diet for a week with how scratchy his throat is, tells his mom that Hoseok likes his extra-spicy (he doesn’t even stop to think about how he knows this, though).

 

Changkyun’s slouched against the pillows on his bed, trying to catch up on some overdue assignments before he’s free for summer break, while watching an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine when he hears a shy rapping on his bedroom door. He tells whoever it is to come in, certain that it’s either his mom or his dad, but scrambles to his feet once he sees it’s Hoseok, standing there in all his pink-haired (!!!!??) glory.

 

“When did you dye your hair pink?” Changkyun asks as soon as Hoseok steps into the room, then is instantly glad his mom isn’t there to scold him on his lack of manners.

 

“A couple days ago. Do you like it?” Hoseok asks, combing his hair back with a hand, then letting it fall charmingly over his forehead. Changkyun totally doesn’t stare.

 

“Y-yeah. It looks nice,” Changkyun answers, blushing lightly; the faint pink that blooms in his cheeks pales in comparison with the bright shade of Hoseok’s hair.

 

“Thanks,” Hoseok replies, shyly, eyes downcast. Changkyun can’t think of what to say for a short while, then he realizes there’s no space for Hoseok to sit on his bed or his chair because it’s all covered either in textbooks, loose paper sheets or various articles of clothing.

 

“You can sit on the bed if you want, don’t mind the mess,” Changkyun breaks the silence, hurrying to clean up some space on his bed so Hoseok can sit down.

 

Hoseok’s smiling and he chuckles real low and cute, making Changkyun’s stomach feel funny. He hopes this isn’t what people call butterflies. In his mind, there are a hundred and one thoughts rushing through. What changed between him and Hoseok since the last day they saw each other? Why does Changkyun feel so off, but also so right in Hoseok’s presence? And why does Hoseok have to look so good all the time? He’s a teenager, for fuck’s sake, just like Changkyun. He  _ is not  _ supposed to look this good.

 

“What are you up to?” Hoseok asks almost shyly. 

 

“Just doing some homework.” Changkyun says, plopping down next to Hoseok, their thighs almost brushing. He notices Hoseok’s feet dangle closer to the floor. Changkyun had never noticed that the other boy’s taller than him. 

 

“You’re taller than me,” Changkyun blurts out, still staring at their feet side by side.

 

“Hm?” Hoseok asks, confused for a second before he follows Changkyun’s gaze with his eyes. “Oh. I guess I am,” he says, swaying his feet in a way that Changkyun tries extremely hard not to think is cute. Hoseok bumps the hell of a foot against Changkyun’s and smiles up at him.

 

“It’s probably just a couple of centimeters, though, ‘cause I never noticed it.” Changkyun knows he’s rambling in the hopes that Hoseok’s the one to bring up the elephant in the room before he has to, but hey, he already exhausted his supply of courage for the day by asking Hoseok over.

 

“You look taller than me because you have long legs,” Hoseok says and, unexpectedly, places a hand on Changkyun’s thigh. The touch is as light as it’s quick and it’s gone before Changkyun can even process that Hoseok actually touched him. On his thigh.

 

“I-I guess, yeah, long legs.” 

 

After Changkyun’s pitiful display of eloquence, they say nothing for what seems like an eternity, until Hoseok’s clearing his throat and asking, “How was your trip? Did you have a good time?”

 

“Oh, I did. It was really fun. I missed my friends a lot. It was nice catching up with them,” Changkyun replies truthfully, albeit somewhat sheepishly. It’s dawning on him that Hoseok’s in his room, sitting on his bed and they’re very close and very alone. 

 

“I… would like to apologize again for saying all of those things. I didn’t mean to scare you off.” Hoseok, who had been staring at the posters on Changkyun’s wall, turns to look at Changkyun as he speaks.

 

“You didn’t- It wasn’t your fault. I’m the one who should be apologizing for running away like that, and not answering your texts. It was shitty of me. I’m sorry.” Changkyun’s a little proud of himself for not stuttering and for holding Hoseok’s gaze as he apologizes. Kihyun’s advice seems to have made more of an impact on him than he first thought.

 

Hoseok nods, then chuckles lightly, “It  _ was _ kind of shitty.” Changkyun laughs, shoving Hoseok away by the shoulder, playfully. They smile at each other.

 

“I know. I’m still trying to figure out this whole soulmate thing. It’s a lot to wrap my head around,” Changkyun admits.

 

“It is. Even for me who was always sure I’d find mine, I was so shocked when I learned it was you. Guess that’s why I reacted like I did. It hurt me a little bit that you knew and kept it from me. I felt like I deserved to know, but after having time to think about it, I completely understand how you feel and I’m willing to be as patient as you need me to. I mean it, Changkyun.” The way Hoseok’s looking at him conveys so much sincerity, even more than his words that Changkyun can’t help but believe him. 

 

Besides, there’s no reason for him to doubt Hoseok. It might seem weird, but Changkyun really trusts the other boy, despite not knowing him for long. Hoseok’s someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, Changkyun’s noticed. It strikes him as something only very brave, very strong people do. Changkyun could never do it.

 

“Thank you, Hoseok,” Changkyun says, with a small smile that Hoseok returns with one of his own. 

 

The pink-haired boy leans back slightly, bracing himself on his hands on Changkyun’s mattress and looking around the room.

 

“Your room is nice,” he comments and Changkyun snorts both at the sudden subject change and the obvious lie.

 

Changkyun’s room is just like any other teenager’s room: there’s a bed and a desk, both of which are barely visible under the piles and piles of clothes and textbooks and other useless paraphernalia. Changkyun’s walls are entirely covered in posters though, of his favorite movies, bands and singers. He guesses that looks kind of nice. He also has a huge photo board at the wall opposite his bed which is filled with dozens of photos of him with his friends taken over the years.

 

“It’s true! I’ve been trying to make my room look more like me, but my mom doesn’t appreciate all of my metal bands posters. She thinks they’re all Satan worshippers or something.”

 

“Aren’t they?” Changkyun makes a face and Hoseok gasps exaggeratedly.

 

“I’ll make you a playlist sometime.”

 

“I don’t really like rock music…” Changkyun starts, but Hoseok’s looking at him with a face that closely resembles a puppy so he quickly adds, “But maybe I’ve listened to the wrong bands!”

 

Hoseok’s kicked puppy face brightens up, much to Changkyun’s relief then he turns to stare the board while Changkyun stares at him, head still spinning a little bit, trying to wrap itself around the fact that Hoseok’s right there with him, it’s not a hallucination. Changkyun was convinced, when he left for the trip, that the next time he saw Hoseok it’d be ugly and unpleasant and would definitely not involve Hoseok in his room, looking at Changkyun’s middle school pictures.

 

“Is this Hyungwon?” Hoseok’s words pull Changkyun out of his reverie. Changkyun looks up at Hoseok, who’s now standing while he examines one of the tiny polaroids on the board.

 

Changkyun stands up and goes to stand next to Hoseok, keeping the safest distance his cramped room allows. He leans in slightly to inspect the picture Hoseok’s referring to, then lets out a laugh. The picture is one that was taken during 7th grade, when Hyungwon went through his grunge phase and was trying to grow his hair out, but ended up with an uneven (and smelly) mullet. Whenever Hyungwon comes over he tries to steal the picture, but Changkyun never lets him.

 

“Yes, that’s him. Please, promise me you’ll tease him about it next time you see him,” Changkyun says and Hoseok’s laugh joins his.

 

“I’m not trying to get myself killed,” Hoseok shakes his head and waves his hands, taking a step back.

 

“Wonnie would never kill you. He likes you too much and besides you’re my soulmate. He can’t do that to his best friend.” Changkyun’s not sure why he says that, but he does and he instantly blushes when he sees the look of utter shock in Hoseok’s face. It’s kinda cute, too, the way his lips are slightly parted and his eyes wide. 

 

Changkyun clears his throat awkwardly, turning to face his bed so he doesn’t have to look at Hoseok who’s still just standing there.

 

“Er.. My mom, she made some food, I think. Are you hungry?” 

 

“Hm, yeah?” Hoseok doesn’t sound so sure but Changkyun takes that as a good enough excuse to get them downstairs and on safer waters. Changkyun’s still feeling a little like death because of his cold, but he guesses some spicy food might help with his stuffed nose and will definitely keep him from blurting out more stupid shit.

 

Changkyun’s mother is an amazing cook and they end up eating a lot. Enough for both boys to be sure they’ll be skipping dinner. Once they’ve cleaned their plates, Changkyun expects Hoseok to say he has to go home to study or something, but before Hoseok can say anything, Changkyun’s mom pipes in, “Hoseokie, honey, why don’t you stay the night? It’s already kind of late. I’m sure your mom wouldn’t mind. I can give her a call.”

 

Changkyun almost yells a “No!” before he reminds himself that’s his mom and he can’t talk to her like that, not unless he wants to be grounded for an entire month, so he just sits there, mute, glancing at Hoseok expectantly and hoping that Hoseok will decline it.

 

“I don’t know Mrs. Im… Changkyun’s sick, he needs rest and I don’t want to bother…” Hoseok says, glancing furtively at Changkyun. Changkyun wants to mouth a ‘thank you’, but his mother is watching too closely.

 

“Nonsense! It’s just a simple cold. Tomorrow he’s going to school and you guys can go together. Changkyun, will you lend Hoseok some pyjama pants?” Changkyun knows there’s no arguing with his mom when she makes up her mind, so he resigns to his fate, which’s having an impromptu sleepover with his  _ soulmate _ , with a quiet sigh.

 

Hoseok, across from him, is silent, but not looking remotely as panicked as Changkyun feels. He actually looks sort of… happy, if the glint in his eyes is anything to go by. Changkyun’s stomach does a flip.

 

“Now, sweetie, care to give me your mother’s number so I can call her and let her know?” Changkyun’s mom sounds like she has planned this all along and Changkyun makes a mental note to ask her about it later.

 

After Hoseok does so, they’re shooed out of the dining room. As they file up the stairs, Changkyun wipes his sweaty palms on his pants, trying to get his nerves to calm down so he doesn’t appear as anxious as he is. But Hoseok seems to notice it anyway, specially when Changkyun enters the room and immediately runs to his closet without a word to find Hoseok some pyjama bottoms that might fit him.

 

“You okay?” Hoseok asks, once Changkyun returns, long minutes later, with two pairs of pyjama pants.

 

“I’m fine!” Changkyun’s voice comes out too high-pitched to his own ears, so he pauses before he speaking up again, “Which one do you want?” 

 

Hoseok makes a face once Changkyun waves the pieces of clothing in front of him. Yeah, they’re not the most fashionable, but they’re just pyjama pants, Changkyun thinks with an eye-roll.

 

“One of them has Teletubbies on it,” Hoseok comments and Changkyun scoffs, handing Hoseok the other pair: an (ugly, he’ll admit) shade of purple with a myriad of lime-colored doodles all over it.

 

“Bathroom is the second door to your right,” Changkyun informs before flopping down on his bed and opening his laptop.

 

When Hoseok comes out of the bathroom in the purple pyjama pants Changkyun’s ready to laugh, but they actually look nice on him, even if Hoseok doesn’t think so himself; a visible pout adorning his lips.

 

“Thanks, Kyun. I look ridiculous, but at least they’re comfy,” he mumbles as he places his folded clothes on top of his backpack in a corner by the door.

 

“You don’t look ridiculous at all and it’s kind of unfair,” Changkyun replies sincerely, discreetly eyeing the way the pants hang low on Hoseok’s hips.

 

“You’re just saying that,” Hoseok waves him off, his cheeks assuming a light pink color. Changkyun internally groans at how cute Hoseok looks with pink hair and pink cheeks. It makes Changkyun want to run his hands through Hoseok’s soft locks and… well, do  _ other _ things he doesn’t want to think about.

 

Thankfully, Changkyun’s bed is big enough to accommodate the both of them with space to spare. Hoseok settles next to Changkyun and they scroll through Netflix’s catalogue for a while, trying to decide on what to watch. Hoseok doesn’t have a strong preference for any genre, unlike Changkyun who’s very picky about what he watches. They end up settling for some random crime show Changkyun’s been meaning to watch for some time and decide to work on their homework – or attempt to – while at it. 

 

Midway through Changkyun’s math assignment and the first episode, his thoughts begin to trail off again. Hoseok looks concentrated on his own work, barely watching the show which is more of background noise at this point, which allows Changkyun to just think for a while. It seems like that’s all he does these days, though: think. 

 

He realizes with a slight sense of regret that many of the things he’d planned to tell Hoseok, he didn’t. Changkyun left a lot of them unspoken, maybe because of his usual fear of confrontation, maybe because he so desperately needed he and Hoseok to be okay. But Changkyun knows it’ll eat at him slowly if he just leaves them unsaid.

 

Gathering up all the courage he has, Changkyun sets his notes aside, putting his pen down and turns his body just enough towards Hoseok to catch the other boy’s attention. Hoseok looks up from his notebook at Changkyun, curiously. Changkyun inspects Hoseok’s handsome face, his beautiful plump lower lip with the silver hoop attached to it; his bangs falling softly over his kind, sincere eyes, and then he takes one deep breath and says:

 

“I think I like you.”

 

Changkyun’s sure he can see dozens of emotions cross Hoseok’s face in the span of a few seconds, but then, he’s smiling. That crinkled-eyes smile that Changkyun’s grown so fond of.

 

“Me too. But I don’t just think, I’m sure of it,” Hoseok answers and Changkyun’s ready to blast off into space both because of how nervous he is and because of Hoseok’s confession. His mind is reeling.

 

“Wow,” Changkyun says, placing a hand over his chest, exhaling loudly.

 

Hoseok’s chuckling is melodious and fills the room. Changkyun lets out a shaky, nervous laugh. Then Hoseok is taking his hand, the one that was on his chest, and holding it gently with his own. Changkyun’s soulmate mark tingles, but it’s a pleasant feeling that matches the way Hoseok’s caressing the back of Changkyun’s hand with the pad of his thumb softly.

 

“It took a lot of courage for you to say that,” Hoseok acknowledges and Changkyun nods, words still failing him. Hoseok continues, “I’m so glad you did, though. I wanted so bad to tell you how I feel, but I also wanted to give you space and time to figure things out on your own.”

 

Changkyun feels the overwhelming urge to throw his arms around Hoseok’s neck and kiss him, but he holds back. Taking things slow is probably the best and Changkyun can’t help but think that kissing Hoseok right now would probably make him literally catch on fire or something equally catastrophic.

 

“I’m just  _ so _ scared off everything. Of what I’m feeling, of the future, and what all of this means,” Changkyun says, his voice barely above a whisper. He’s secretly glad Hoseok’s holding his hand or he thinks he would’ve run away again. 

 

“I’m scared too, Kyunie. But we have each other, right?” Hoseok gives his hand a gentle squeezes. Changkyun stares at their joined hands and feels a little bit better. “ We can figure this out together. It probably won’t be easy, but I’ll do my best.”

 

Changkyun feels the hotness in his cheeks before he realizes he’s crying. He’s been holding it back for so long he’s not even slightly surprised when the hot tears starting running down his face. Before Changkyun can say anything though, Hoseok has both arms wrapped around him, and Changkyun buries his face in Hoseok’s shirt as he openly sobs, done caring about hiding shit.

 

Hoseok holds him close, so solid and real and incredibly comforting that Changkyun lets go completely. Even when he’s out of tears to cry, he doesn’t pull away. He simply allows Hoseok to lean back against the pillows so their positions don’t get too uncomfortable as Changkyun clings to Hoseok, face resting on the latter’s chest, breathing in his scent and letting Hoseok’s calm presence lull him.

 

It’s no wonder that they fall asleep like that, Changkyun in Hoseok’s arms, their school work forgotten. An hour or so later, Changkyun’s laptop runs out of battery and shuts down at the same time as Changkyun stirs in his sleep, waking Hoseok up. The pink-haired boy adjusts their positions when he notices one of his arms is starting to get dormant, but otherwise, makes no attempt at pulling away from Changkyun’s hold.

 

Hoseok watches the boy’s peaceful face despite the tear streaks still painting his cheeks and thinks Changkyun’s the most beautiful boy in the world before he drifts back to sleep.

 

 

•·················•·················•

 

 

The concept of soulmates had never appealed to Changkyun until he met Hoseok on that fateful spring afternoon. 

 

Summer has come and gone since then and Changkyun still can’t wrap his head around how much of his life has changed in such a short time. Four months ago, he would never imagine himself applying to colleges all over the country together with his boyfriend. Yes, because Hoseok and Changkyun are dating now. It’s official and even though it’s been a couple of months since they’ve started dating, Changkyun still gets those butterflies in his stomach whenever someone refers to Hoseok as his boyfriend, and it’s even worse when Hoseok’s the one calling him his boyfriend.

 

After confessing their feelings for each other, they embarked on a type of journey to get to know each other. It wasn’t hard, since they’d already been friends for a while, but there was so much for Changkyun to learn about Hoseok and vice-versa that it was just like Kihyun had said: it seemed there wasn’t enough hours in a day for them to spend together. 

 

So when they weren’t in each other’s companies, they were constantly texting, sending each other’s pics of their summer vacations and facetiming when they had the opportunity. They were graduating soon, so they went on a couple of trips together to check out colleges. 

 

Much to Changkyun’s surprise, his parents had been thrilled to learn that Hoseok was Changkyun’s soulmate and immediately told Changkyun that he could choose any college he’d like as long as Hoseok was there with him. At first, it pissed Changkyun off that his parents didn’t trust him to study too far from home on his own, but now, because Changkyun had Hoseok, they suddenly did. 

 

It took Changkyun a whole week to get over it, and a lot of discussions with Hoseok about his parents, but, eventually, Changkyun came around and realized his parents had been just as afraid as he had been of the unknown. Changkyun forgave them and decided to simply be happy that he was free to go anywhere with his soulmate.

 

Now, they’re both killing time waiting for graduation and their acceptance letters while also learning more and more about each other every day, figuring their relationship out and going on double dates with Hyungwon and his new boyfriend.

 

“It’s still ironic to me how the one person who’s most obsessed with finding his soulmate is dating someone who’s  _ definitely _ not his,” Changkyun says as he and Hoseok make their way to Hyungwon’s house. 

 

It’s a Saturday night, the weather getting chiller as autumn approaches and Changkyun’s wearing one of the many hoodies he’s borrowed from Hoseok’s closet. He loves the smell of Hoseok’s clothes and how he also smells like his boyfriend whenever he wears them so he’s always borrowing (in Hoseok’s words, stealing) Hoseok’s clothes.

 

“Don’t say that, baby! Jooheon is a very good guy and they look cute together,” Hoseok replies, an arm wrapped around Changkyun’s waist protectively. Changkyun loves it, the way Hoseok’s always touching him, even though he never says it loud.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with Jooheon, but saying they’re cute together is a reach.”

 

“Don’t be mean,” Hoseok scolds, pinching Changkyun’s hip and causing him to jump.

 

“Not being mean, I’m just saying…” Changkyun pouts, knowing that will get Hoseok to kiss him.

 

It never fails. Hoseok’s turning his head to the side and leaning in just as Changkyun tilts his chin slightly upwards to meet Hoseok’s lips. Whenever they kiss, it feels like the first time to Changkyun and when he thinks about it, Kihyun’s words always come back to him: that it feels different for everyone, finding their soulmate. 

 

For Changkyun, being with Hoseok feels like first times. It’s always thrilling and unexpected and it fills him with excitement, even with how familiar it feels. And Changkyun wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. He would go through all the heartache and pain again if it meant having Hoseok by his side.

 

Changkyun doesn’t call it bullshit anymore. He calls it love.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Comments and kudos are always appreciated and they're what keep authors going, so feel free to drop a comment and make my day hehe.
> 
> You can also find me on:  
> ~ [twitter](http://twitter.com/chuuvesmoon)  
> ~ [curiouscat](http://curiouscat.me/wowkwans)
> 
> ♡


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